Rainbows and Hope

Today I was feeling a little weak-spirited. It happens when you are newly single and facing a weekend devoid of the person who once filled every corner of your life. When the weekend comes around, you don't have the mindless weekday routines to distract you from the myriad of feelings that linger after a break up.

In response to the weakness, I did text him. After all, for over two years he was my best friend. It is awful to think that I have lost his love and friendship as well. That is just too much loss for me to handle right now. I just expressed that the weekends were more difficult than the weekdays. I don't regret it because it came from an honest and genuine place. Besides, my other friends just don't know exactly what we had.

Hmmm, what we "had". I'm going to have to get used to to using past tense when referring to him.

As I was coming home in the rain, I was listening to the radio since my CD player isn't working. I heard a song by The Counting Crows. My first thought was, "how soon can I get the CD player fixed?" Then it hit me all at once. I saw and heard two very important things.

I turned the corner into my apartment complex and saw a rainbow. It was vivid and enormous. I hadn't seen a rainbow in years until today. It appeared just when I needed it most.

At that same moment of awe, these lyrics came out of the radio:

And its been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last

I believe in messages and signs. My life has been too charmed not to believe. Whatever power or force you believe in that is greater than us was telling me something. It was a message of hope and I could not ignore it. It would be like denying a well-intentioned gift.

I am meant to hold on to hope. I am meant to believe and have faith. Most importantly, I am realizing those qualities are in me and not to depend on anyone else for my happiness.